O Brother, Where Art Thou?

I’m damn offended. Someone called The Presiturd a monkey.

What the hell did monkeys ever do to deserve that?

Oh, but it’s totally the racisms… Ain’t we all descended from apes? Is you is, or is you ain’t mah kunstichinsee?

Fuckin’ clowns. Wait, is that a reference to brillo pad nappy hair? I just can’t stop being racist. I’m such a terrible person.

Screw that. It’s a phrase I reserve for those who have truly earned it. Obama is a damn nigger if there ever was one. Monkeys are several steps up from him.


This is what has been pissing me off for about a week now.

I’ve had them done, but Parkerizing is broken for no reason. Again. I have never in my life had so much trouble with Parkerizing as I have the last year or so. Ridiculous.

Anyway, there they are. 4003QA. Not as perfect as I would have liked, but they’ll do. I might change the radius slots. Didn’t turn out as well as I wanted. Most people probably won’t notice, but I do…

Future production 4003FBA will share some of the mods I made in the 4003QA. Slightly shorter, a bit beefier.

A Word on Four Letter Words

You will find them here.

Don’t bother giving me the faux-high road insult of “You should be able to make your point without using them.” A (marginally) clever dig trying to make yourself feel smug is still a dig trying to make yourself feel smug…

So, without further adieu, here are my reasons:

1) Sometimes, I don’t feel like going off on a tangent. I do that enough already… There has to be a limit.

2) I don’t need to be a showoff. It’s obvious when a writer is going out of his way to be a twit about how great s/he is.

3) It’s Earthy.

4) It’s concise. Elaborate avoidance is rarely 4 letters or fewer.

5) I don’t like to waste good words on that which does not deserve it.

Do you take a girl you just met out on an expensive date? You do? Well, you’re a dumbass! Save the good stuff for the ones that deserve it. Sometimes a subject isn’t worth it. Just cuss and move on with the topic.

The ability to turn a phrase is fun and says much. It is a lost art in this day and age and I very much appreciate it. But, there is no reason to go out of your way on a subject better left handled quick and to the point.

Most importantly: If you can’t handle a few bad words, you definitely can’t handle the subject matter on which I speak. Reality is much worse than a 4 letter word. I’m in touch with it. I talk about it. Go back to pictures of cats and vines or whatever. I’m not wasting my bandwidth on dumb shit that caters to dumb shits.

If you disagree, go fuck yourself.

Women, what a mess…

Most people who have spoken with me for more than 5 sentences know my exceptional loathing for what American women have become in the last 50 years. They use the usual political slander to deride the truth; modern women are dumb whores. The Men who fall for their shit are just as bad.

Speaking the truth about a black president being the biggest douche bag to ever waste oxygen in the Oval Office results in being labeled “racist” by the entitled trash of the world. I’m only judging the man by Martin Luther King’s standard: The content of his charater, not the color of his skin. Or, in this case, the complete lack of character… Obama is a damn nigger if there ever was one. I don’t often use the “n” word, but Obama has earned it many times over. A truly sick and evil thing, he is.

Calling “the modern woman” what she really is draws like ire; being labeled “bigot,” “asshole,” and “mysoginist” by those who think that being a dumb whore is a rite of passage. I have the same opinion of the “typical American woman” as I have for Obama.

Now that that is out of the way, I want to talk about an exception I know. Someone who isn’t my mom… Who, by the way, is also an exception. She’s a tough act to follow and showed me, growing up, what a real woman is like; a boast very few can make.

They just don’t make ’em like they used to… But I digress, as usual.

Most people would not consider this girl Woman to be special. What the hell kind of metric is that, anyway? Most people barely qualify as people. But, again, I digress, as usual…

She’s a mess. All women are a mess. At first glance she’s just a well-preserved better-than-average-looking life support system for a uterus.

I loaned her a bunch of money. My entire month’s pay, actually.


Because she goes into her messes with her eyes wide open. If she had balls, they would be bigger than yours. She knows there’s going to be hell to pay, and she does it anyway.

She’s not a wandering fool looking for a man off of whom to mooch and pay for all her stupid, wasteful decisions. She makes it happen. She doesn’t need help, but she certainly deserves some.

Lets not even bring up the medical problems, and the handicaps forced upon her by this demented government for it…

This woman is unique and gives me hope. No, I’m not trying to get laid. She’s spoken for and I’m not trying to change that or step on any toes.

So what kind of hope? If there’s one, then maybe there’s two?

Chicks are everywhere; chicks worth knowing, well… I’ve tried to kid myself and make a ho into a housewife several times. It doesn’t work. Duh.

Oh, she’s a stripper. Yeah, talk about a needle in a haystack. Last place you’d expect to find that kind of person, eh? Or is it? Are you willing to go that far for the people you care about? Or do you just pretend to care about them? She knows exactly what it is, and she does it anyway.

She’s made some bad decisions; but for the benefit of others. Her kids and her friends. I dare you to find another one. I dare you to find just one woman in the US of A that has kids for any reason other than to extort money with welfare/child support/alimony. Pre-planned divorce extortion from a guy she hasn’t even met or married yet! Just one, I double-dog-dare you!

Generations of Escalade Babies. What’s it feel like to be a child who knows the only reason he’s alive is to pay for spinning rims? Women are the nurturers? The infallible fountain of life, and men are all pigs? I got one word for you shitbags; Abortion. No, two words; Fuck You. I’ve never seen a man kill a child while it was still inside him… As wrong as some so-called “men” are, I have never been convinced that even the most defective man would do that. Women think it’s their right! Fucking demented…

She defies the norm and I’m glad to know her, even if not very well.

She’s a lot like me. A lot like anyone who understands that hedonism is not the highest calling of a human being. Unselfish.

She stares into the Sun and flies into it anyway. Kinda like me and the BATFE&RBF. I know damn well I’m dancing with the Devil. That’s why I do it! No, I don’t get off on any adrenaline rush. No, I don’t get an ego boost by fancying myself David against Goliath. Neither am I jousting with windmills. Hiding under the bed wetting my panties and making excuses isn’t going to fix it. Those who can do a thing, must do that thing. Those who can’t obviously won’t. So, who else is going to do it? I know damn well I can be squashed like a bug. But, I do it anyway.

“Self-preservation” is the pathetic mantra of The Hangman’s greatest ally.

“Somebody should do something!”

I’m somebody.

Aren’t you somebody, too? Are you sure? What have you done to piss in the face of evil, knowing full-well the consequences? Are you sure your idea of “smart” isn’t a re-branding of cowardice?

“Fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing.” – Optimus Prime

Will you take a stand only when it’s convenient? Only when you know the crowd is on your side? What does that make you? Smart? Or just another dumb animal who still isn’t making a difference? Let your grandchildren inherit your excuses?

Step up. I met a woman who steps up. If she had balls, would they be bigger than your’s?

I stare into the Sun knowing exactly what will become of me when I fly into it. Where are my loud-mouthed fellow countrymen? Draw another line in the sand as the enemy casually walks over it without even looking down? Why should they? How many lines have you drawn? How many times have they strolled over with no consequences?

A kindred spirit is hard for someone like me to find. Her fight may be “small” or “domestic” by the standards of shallow thinkers; but she fights it instead of whining about it. Wish I could say the same for all these big-mouth gun owners…

Use it or lose it. When you lose it, don’t you dare fucking complain.